Waiting for Loved Ones

When I was a little girl, we moved (for the trillionth time) to a new home. We had financial security for one of the only times I remember- but my dad was gone traveling ALL the time (if you wonder what is better; financial security or a dad home- know the latter is the big time winner) and Mother was going to college (something she was SOOO proud of). The college was only a few blocks away and she walked. We had a housekeeper/babysitter of whom I was very fond. But I was only 4 or 5 and my mother and I would watch "As The World Turns" together at noon and I understood none of it but I loved munching my bologna sandwich with her while we both concentrated on what was going to happen next!
I remember standing between the curtains in the kitchen and the window watching for her to walk up the drive. There was NOT a sense of JOY when I would see her. It was a sense of relief- of belonging and of security that would emerge. I think of that with our elders now.

I think we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves because we think our folks feel JOY from our visits (they might indeed). But the truth is that they desire mostly security. When they light up, it is not because we are there and are so much FUN but because our appearance was reassuring. Just like my mom rounded that corner each day and headed up my drive, I was given permission to find joy on my own. She was there- she was looking out for me- she would arrive the next day. Don't feel like you have to "provide" your parent with joy all the time. Just seeing you come up the drive and knowing you will do same in a week or two might be exacty what they need.