Stories We Hear

Since writing our book, WHOEVER IS THERE DECIDES, my sister and I continuously hear stories of aging parents, excrutiating decisions, supportive or non-supportive spouses, siblings and friends/relatives. I hope this blog allows a forum for people to clearly hear the "you are not alone" messages- so please contribute!

We jointly wrote this book as a way to share our ideas of how to manage the sibling relationship while managing care during family illnesses or the issues of aging. We have often commented on the fact that our business dealings with each other while the book was under construction was our greatest challenge! BTW- don't look for a book from us on getting along with business partners!!

But we shared a vision and passion for the care of our parents. We had our love-hate relationships with them, but our love for each other somehow transcended most all of it. AND we kept running into people and situations supporting the need for a dialog on the subject.

Example: My sister Virginia was in a security line at the airport and witnessed a daughter struggling with getting her confused mom through the process. The TSA people were just as confused as the situation emerged! Virginia noted the fact that small children were managed excellently with strollers, diaper bags, etc. But no one seemed to be prepared for this able-bodied woman who did not mentally understand what was going on and her agonized daughter who was trying to explain and assist. Virginia reached out with a "you are not alone" message and she said the gratitude from the daughter was huge.

I have heard touching stories from those who purchased the book. One gentleman was grateful because his beloved sister was shouldering all the responsibility 2000 miles away and he wanted to learn how to support her. Another reported a "rebirth" of her sisters attitude after she read (and reread) our stories and advice and saw how unloving her actions had been when she really only meant to LOVE her parents. A psychologist reported that many mental tortures her patients continually describe involve siblings, aging parents and agonizing decisions. Another situation was the wife of a beloved husband who was struggling to do the best for his parents without "forcing" them to move to their city. His guilt about his sister shouldering the load was overwhelming.

Will you please share your thoughts, strategies, actions and stories? We all have a lot to learn on this topic. Thanks! Sally Grumbles

Getting Started

Based upon feedback received in various presentations, some of you are interested in hearing about my experiences dealing with aging parents. So I've started this blog.

I expect to be actively contributing to this in the next month, so stay tuned for updates. Thanks to everyone for their interest and support.